Last week was a zig zag kind of week. I was left, right, up and down and no where to go. No thanks to the flu I caught. To make matters worse, a fight with Bryan was the last straw.
I was feeling miserable since the day before. My head was heavy and spinning and had a very sore throat and sniffles. So when Bryan told me some guys were coming over to fix something in our room, at first I had the patience to go downstairs, thinking they were going to do it that moment and a few minutes later I could go back to the room and bury myself in pillows.
An hour went by and I kept asking him when they were going to the room. Bryan wasn't giving me a clear answer. I found myself in the terrace couch but it was not exactly a comfy sofa. Rattan and too small for me to stretch my legs. So I was miserable even more. I called Bryan who was downstairs and asking him about the progress. He kept stalling and I just blew my top.
I fumed as I went back to bed and, of all the worst timing, a few minutes later Bryan comes in because it was time to fix what needed to be fixed. It was a mix of a lot of things and I was really hurt because Bryan wasn't considering my situation. This was not exactly the kind of house I could take temporary shelter anywhere. I didn't want to crash at Dani's room because I didn't want her getting sick. But the guys were also fixing up her room, too!
Reluctantly, I just exploded. What happened next was not pretty. Bryan, who never gets angry, also got mad.
My head was throbbing and I was at my lowest and angriest I have ever been in such a long time. Its heart breaking and your head spins like theres no tomorrow. Well, it felt like there was no tomorrow.
After 30 minutes of waiting in the bathroom (since I had nowhere else to be to sulk and cry my eyes out), the fixing was done and Bryan went with the men who had to go fix something else. Was able to go back to my bed and fall asleep.
Lets just say, Bryan did his best to make up for what happened. But I also had my own share in the battle.
This was probably our 2nd fight ever. It wasn't much of a big deal but as funny as it may sound, we needed the fight. All that pent up emotion wasn't helping us much.
Why am I sharing this very private moment in a very public blog? Because for those who still think that marriage is like a fairy tale, its a very real fact that fights do happen and they happen for the most shallow reasons sometimes. It doesn't have to be major or earth shaking.
I always knew Bryan was not exactly the confrontational type nor combative and perceived it as a plus. Later on, I found it more of a struggle since I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling on very important issues. Frustrating on my part and felt like we weren't going anywhere.
Asking forgiveness was tough. But it needed to be done. I've always been strong and very defensive. Marriage does that to you, I guess. Makes you do things that kick you in the gutt but also a lesson learned that pride has no room between me and my husband.
A lesson, I recently learned and really struck home for me and what it means to be a wife:
After 30 minutes of waiting in the bathroom (since I had nowhere else to be to sulk and cry my eyes out), the fixing was done and Bryan went with the men who had to go fix something else. Was able to go back to my bed and fall asleep.
Lets just say, Bryan did his best to make up for what happened. But I also had my own share in the battle.
This was probably our 2nd fight ever. It wasn't much of a big deal but as funny as it may sound, we needed the fight. All that pent up emotion wasn't helping us much.
Why am I sharing this very private moment in a very public blog? Because for those who still think that marriage is like a fairy tale, its a very real fact that fights do happen and they happen for the most shallow reasons sometimes. It doesn't have to be major or earth shaking.
I always knew Bryan was not exactly the confrontational type nor combative and perceived it as a plus. Later on, I found it more of a struggle since I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling on very important issues. Frustrating on my part and felt like we weren't going anywhere.
Asking forgiveness was tough. But it needed to be done. I've always been strong and very defensive. Marriage does that to you, I guess. Makes you do things that kick you in the gutt but also a lesson learned that pride has no room between me and my husband.
A lesson, I recently learned and really struck home for me and what it means to be a wife:
- DUTIES OF, TO THEIR HUSBANDS
- To love them Titus 2:4
- To reverence them Ephesians 5:33
- To be faithful to them 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 1 Corinthians 7:10
- To be subject to them Genesis 3:16 ; Ephesians 5:22 Ephesians 5:24 ; 1 Peter 3:1
- To obey them 1 Corinthians 14:34 ; Titus 2:5
- To remain with them for life Romans 7:2 Romans 7:3
- SHOULD BE ADORNED
- Not with ornaments 1 Timothy 2:9 ; 1 Peter 3:3
- With modesty and sobriety 1 Timothy 2:9
- With a meek and quiet spirit 1 Peter 3:4 1 Peter 3:5
- With good works 1 Timothy 2:10 ; 5:10
- GOOD
- Are from the Lord Proverbs 19:14
- Are a token of the favour of God Proverbs 18:22
- Are a blessing to husbands Proverbs 12:4 ; Proverbs 31:10 Proverbs 31:12
- Bring honour on husbands Proverbs 31:23
- Secure confidence of husbands Proverbs 31:11
- Are praised by husbands Proverbs 31:28
- Are diligent and prudent Proverbs 31:13-27
- Are benevolent to the poor Proverbs 31:20
- Duty of, to unbelieving husbands
1 Corinthians 7:13 1 Corinthians 7:14 1 Corinthians 7:16 ; 1 Peter 3:1 1 Peter 3:2
(source is from http://www.biblestudytools.com/concordances/torreys-topical-textbook/wives.html)
Its a long list but very understandable and should be a constant reminder to myself included. If I didn't want to do these things, I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Its a bigger
picture than any pocket book or romance novel can ever paint. But its
an adventure I said "I do" for. Bryan is worth it. Danielle is worth
it.
Its a long list but very understandable and should be a constant reminder to myself included. If I didn't want to do these things, I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
This is what I signed up for. For better for worse, 'til our hands look like theirs. This is it.
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