6am nap

Bryan just came in from a double overtime at work. Its 6am and he asked me to wake him at 8am. 

This is one of those times when I can't believe how amazing my husband is. He had to monitor the overtime from 6pm to 6am. Although he was just home in the study, he stuck to it as he always does.  I have to honestly confess, I don't think I could do it if I were in his shoes. 

I always feel frustrated he has to do this. Helpless as well. Our businesses are the same but their ways are so different from mine. Thats the world we live in. No two things are ever alike, unless manufactured. 

Watching him sleep right now.  Im blessed. He gets a big hug and kiss when I wake him up at 8am. 

1 Peter 3:5-6

For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Going back to 1989...

24 years ago, I had a brother.  Another brother.  His name was Juan Carlo.  He was a big deal for our family.  For 4 generations the Hernandez family has had only 1 boy for each generation.  He was supposed to be the one who finally broke the trend.

But I never got to hear him cry or even hold him.  I was 9 then.  I just remember riding my bike around the court of my Tita Grace's house.  Waiting.  Waiting for my dad and my mom to come home.

That was the first time I saw my dad cry.  I never saw my brother, or I just can't recall actually seeing him.  I remember briefly a photograph of him inside a shoebox.  No life in him.  But he was beautiful.

I don't even remember my mom's face.  I don't think I even minded hers as much as it surprised me to see my dad's, grief stricken and tears all over his face.  

Juan Carlo was born premature, like Joey and I.  But he was too young.  Too small.  Too weak.

My mom already had a history of difficult pregnancies and childbirth.  We all were born in 7 months, Cesarian section and mom had ecclampsia.  We never got to breastfeed because she had no milk to give.  

24 years ago, my mother was only a year older than I am now.  But I cannot, for the life of me, imagine travelling for about a month to Europe then America with a 9 year old (me).  I was useless at that age.  Honestly, the sad part is, I don't remember most of it.  Except Austria because of the movie, "Sound of Music".  I was there for the centennial celebration of the Eiffel Tower... slept right through it.

My dad was livid about the whole trip.  He was the most devastated when we lost my brother, I think.

Without any warning, he took Juan Carlo with him and drove straight back to Roxas.  The shoe box next to him the whole way.  He buried my brother under the Ilang-ilang tree at our home.  As dad would fondly recall, that was the first place the sun shone in the morning.  Since then we moved Juan Carlo next to Lolo Kukit but still within our grounds.

Being 7 months pregnant today, I can't even imagine traveling and being so irresponsible.  I barely make it to Manila even with dad in the hospital there.  As much as I would like to be there, I am carrying another life and I am completely responsible.  Not to mention how difficult it is to be pregnant.  So how could I even consider going across Europe on planes and buses, walking all over, then flying to the States with a 9 year old and no other male relative to even help me with my luggage.  Bryan is my rock during this time and I am practically useless for a reason. But its a given and not even worth a second thought.

Reminded my family about today.  The saddest part is, my mom keeps forgetting this day.  Its like just another day for her.  But my dad has been bringing flowers to Juan Carlo every year.  Now its our turn, with him so far away.  Its imaginable in so many levels.  But that is my reality.  Thats the kind of mother I never want to be.

Mom has her good points.  But I won't allow the bad to tamper with my relationship with my children.  They mean the world to me.  I just choose, by God's grace and wisdom, to be a totally different mother.

So this day, I remember Juan Carlo. Take a moment to ponder on the life that could have been.  But also how his brief 3 days of life will always have an impact on the rest of our lives.

As wives we need to remember that it’s our unique privilege to be encourager to our husbands, to support them with a good word when they need it and make their heart glad. Of all the people in the world, that good word of encouragement matters most from us. 

- Joy Tanchi-Mendoza

Tito Joey

My baby brother holding my baby girl. Life has a way of getting to you when you just look away for a few seconds. 

Lord, teach me to value my heart more than the

externals. Grant me the wisdom to cultivate internal

ingredients that will make my heart a wellspring of

life to those whom I come in contact with today.

The contents in your heart are more important than the outer packaging.

- ODB

3 years and blossoming

After 3 years, it warms my heart to see our wedding centerpiece blooming still when we have lunch or dinner at my grandparents' place in Compania St. 

My Abuelita was already too weak to make it to my wedding. But I made sure she got a centerpiece. She loved flowers. She really gave this flower so much care and attention when she was still alive. Few months after our wedding she passed away.

So many good memories in a single orchid plant. I think it also represents my own marriage. It has not been a perfect 3 years but I believe we've grown and developed as a couple even more since. 

With a daughter and a son on the way, I hope this orchid stands in more happy moments in our life. 

Luke 12:27-31

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

A. W. Thorold writes, “The highest pinnacle of the spiritual life is not happy joy in unbroken sunshine, but absolute and undoubting trust in the love of God.”

Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

- Isaiah 40:30-31

Me, my books and my imagination

Growing up, a habit I inherited from my dad was the habit of reading. I could spend the whole day, continuous days even, in my room with a good book. Some snacks didn't hurt either. I was a homebody that way. I knew how to take care of myself and my time. Just give me a good book. 

Reading was never a waste of my time. Nowadays, I long for that time when I would pride myself in finishing a book within an amount of time. These days, audio books are my easy means of reading. With a toddler, its hard to have that space and attention exclusively. 

I am so pleased that Dani has gained that interest in one of my ultimate passions. Although she still needs to learn the alphabet, the pictures fascinate her. She easily recalls pictures and emotions I tell her. Very assuring on my part. 

I may never be able to give her the world. But books open up the world and countless possibilities. From adventures, experiences, trials and characters. What a life it is to be able to read. 

My dad had a rule that I would like to implement on my kids. Toys are to be earned. Books are unlimited. 

When the earth rumbles

Like any other regular morning, our day started pretty much the same way. 

A bit past 8, while I was getting readt for work, we felt the room move. Earthquake! Bryan was his usual calm self, telling me not to panic. I quickly put on proper clothes and slowly made my way out of our room. Dani was already on her way down with her yayas. Pregnant as I am, I cautiously went down with Bryan. 

Even when we were already on the ground floor, everything was still stirring. The chandeleirs were swaying at a very urgent pace. Like a pendulum if sorts. My father-in-law was downstairs as he always is that time of the day. 

The cars outside were rocking. Electric wires swaying. It was pretty long, unlike other earthquakes I've experienced before. 

Thats how our day in Iloilo began. Then news from all over came in. The wonders of modern technology. Everyone is connected almost instantly. 

Apparently, the earthquake came a few kilometers from Bohol. Bohol experienced a 7.2 instensity. Iloilo was about a 5. Roxas City about a 4. But it was felt up to Kalibo. 

Our home in Roxas is pretty blessed when it comes to earthquake. As Scriptures go: 

Luke 6:48

They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

Our home is literally built on a hill made of solid rock, so they didn't feel a thing. God is good and true to His words, regardless of the application. 

Cebu, which is close to Bohol, also suffered a lot of damage and casulaties. Buildings yielding to the force of the earth. Who are we but mere man?

Watching the news, we only visited Bohol last year. To see the centuries old churches in a pile of rubble, its very heart breaking. People died today. A 4 year old child trampled when people began to run. 

(Photos taken from a facebook page)

Prayers of comfort and protection. May this be part of our country's awakening. Too many selfish people living lives oblivious and arrogant to those who have so few. May God be brought front and center. 

So as we sleep soundly tonight, feeling after shocks still, we remember how blessed we are. How great our God is that the earth can be moved in such a way. The world is in His hands. Let us remember to make our lives purposeful.